Which Masks Are You Choosing?
What to do when you’ve lied to yourself? When you’ve tried to be normal and not suffocate in a world too loud, with thousands of distractions at every corner of your screen? Being brave.
To face your reflection, to discover a face that you have been wearing for twenty-four years, buried under a thousand masks. Which one to choose and which one is you? Hard to say, lost in the attic with the dreams of a child.
Dusting off the consensus of normality and discovering a fascinating puzzle full of surprises. A love of metaphor to explain what most would consider simple, but what to do when you can only express it through your eyes.
“Suffocating, hiding between the unknown time remaining, lost in uncertainty, here and now… How long? What can I say? What can I do? Sentences are thoughts, but where do they come from? Experience? People?”
You looked in the attic, discovered the fear buried for years under a pile of smiles. Unable to decide, you blew out the dust, cleaned the attic, and found your way through the organised mess.
The mess we call life is a postponement of experience that we are afraid to act on. We want to control what is outside our control when we can’t even control ourselves. The last year has been the most revealing. I have learned to understand that I am not one thing. We all want to be something, to compare ourselves, to worry about what others will think. But why?
We pass hundreds of thousands of people in our lives. How often do we stop and ask them, “Tell me your story?” Afraid to look at each other for fear of being misjudged, we look at one another via our ten-inch screens hoping to find something, someone we are not yet aware of, when sometimes what you need are a pen, a paper and your thoughts.
I hesitated to write again, to see if I still had something to say, to share, to give a little of myself, and not to be taken seriously if someone I knew read my posts. But thanks to Terpsy, who left a comment on a previous post, she reignited a flame that wanted to be shared.
I pulled out my phone, opened my notes and started typing “What to do, you lied to yourself…” It felt good.
It feels good.
